I walked along the beach as the daylight waned and the moon waxed.

Tomorrow we enter into the longest day of the year.

Thank God I overcame my sedentary addiction to my house and television by going out of my house and taking the four minute walk to the seashore.

As I walked with my birth day shoes (i.e.: barefoot), I splashed in the surf and literally delighted in just being. Dolphins coasted just off the shore. Seagulls glided in their last flights of the day. Lovers embraced. Come to think of it, all my problems, anxieties and troubles seemed to blow away from me like the cool summer’s breeze.

And then I met the first of seven sand crabs. He or she was a bit crabby. Both claws were up in arms thinking I was about to attack. I truly annoyed the poor creature just by my presence. I was delighting in his magnificent stance and presence. If I was a little fish like a minnow, I would be terrified of the crab.

“When they heard the sound of the Lord God moving about in the garden at the breezy time of the day, the man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. The Lord God then called to the man and asked him, “Where are you?”

(Genesis 3:8-9)

The little sand crab with a great defensive spirit doesn’t think. At first I just thought the sand crab was being…well, crabby. Although I had no intention of harming the little crab, he judged me as someone that will hurt or kill him. In a sense, I was hurt by his ‘stance’. I then noticed that all the other six crabs in the surf at my feet were acting the same. One of them even pinched my toe!

During this breezy time of the day, the sand crabs caused me to think and allowed me to walk with God as a friend. I realized that I often imitate the sand crab. Out of fear, I often snap at others, even those I love. When the crab pinched me, I realized that I was angry with the poor crab I almost stepped on. The little sand crabs must live at the water’s edge to survive, but I was just a visitor and didn’t look out for the little guys.

This whole crab incident reminds me of the five stages of forgiveness I need to go through. Dying and forgiveness are very similar. They go like this:

FIVE STAGES

1) DENIAL: In dying, I don’t ever admit I’m dying; In forgiveness, I don’t admit I was hurt

2) ANGER: In dying, it’s their fault that I’m dying; In forgiveness, it’s their fault that I’m hurt

3) BARGAINING: In dying, I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to die; In forgiveness, I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to forgive

4) DEPRESSION: In dying, It’s my fault that I’m dying; In forgiveness, It’s my fault that I’m hurt

5) ACCEPTANCE: In dying, I look forward to death bringing release from the hurt of dying; In forgiveness, I look forward to growth from the hurt

This subject is covered in depth in Don’t Forgive Too Soon: Extending the two Hands that Heal by Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn, Paulist Press, 1997. Matthew is a Jesuit and the book is illustrated and fun.

Before you forgive anyone, an institution, or an animal you might want to think about applying Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages to the process of moving through any hurt as taught by the Linn’s: denial (it didn’t really bother me), anger (it’s their fault), bargaining (I’ll forgive if they apologize), depression (it’s my fault), and acceptance (I’m not glad for what happened but I’m glad for the gifts that came out of it).

So with the little crab that pinched me (or dog that bites me, person who snubs me), I first realized I denied that I was hurt by a puny crab, in my anger I blamed the crab for trying to ruin my peaceful walk with God, in my bargaining I tried to insist that as long as the sand crabs don’t pinch me again and leave me alone I will tell people how wonderful they are, in my depression I came to understand that it is my own fault that I got hurt by endangering the little sand crabs who were only trying to survive. My encroachment on their hunting grounds and my failure to be more ecologically minded causes them even more stress. No wonder they pinch me! And finally acceptance where I’m not glad for what happened but I’m glad for the gifts that came out of it. They woke me up to a deep love and appreciation for nature.

Now if in the future I can apply this to my every day relationships to human beings, life may truly get even more joyful, meaningful and fun.

Yes! Let us be good stewards of the mighty sand crab!!!!

Love, joy, pinch,

Father Ron Moses +

www.tearinthedesert.com

P.S. I graduated from Seabreeze Senior High School in Daytona Beach, home of the mighty Sand Crabs!!! How is that for a mascot!?!?

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