April 26, 2010: Tear in My Soul
Tear in my Soul April 8, 2006
Beloved Jesus, heal my soul.
Teach me your ways.
Call me to be your lover of All.
Lavish me with Wisdom and Understanding.
Help me to avoid entrapments and attachments
to the world we live.
Breathe on me…
Take my hands and heart and form them into sweet sacrifice
Engage my senses and spirit
to love
to heal
to celebrate
your Life, Word, Breath, Hope and Joy
for today and all eternity.
I love you,
Ron Moses +
Isaiah the Prophet (65:1-3) cries out:
I said: Here I AM, Here I AM! To a nation that did not call upon my name. I have stretched out my hands all the day to a rebellious people, who walk in evil paths and follow their own thoughts, People who provoke me continually to my face..
May 23, 2006 Domus Coeli (My home in Atlantic Beach)
Yesterday was a difficult day for me. On Sunday evening, I watched a documentary called Baghdad ER. It was a documentary about exactly what I did, where I was, when I was in Fallujah Iraq. The intensity of my experience and the trauma all flooded back. It was as if everyone now knows…and yet they know absolutely nothing.
I never know when I will be experiencing the grief and carnage all over again. On Sunday, with a cell phone in my ear, I shopped and talked to the parents of James Philips, a Marine killed in Iraq in which I received his dead body and prayed desperately. I remember so many minute details of that encounter. It was an honor and a privilege, and yet it was part of my own death. So yesterday I felt this dark cloud that seemed to seep into my muscles all over my body. Even my brain muscles gave in to this intrusion of my peace. It has been about 14 months since I returned. I have written Tear in the Desert and await the next step. I am assigned to a parish and do what I love to do.
However, things are different, and I do believe for the better…sort of. I have grown tremendously and seem to be less impulsive and more alive. I love more. Love is intense for me and more fulfilling. People are less annoying and more beautiful.
A little over a week ago, I was cleaning up vomit in the wee hours of the morning at a retreat for those with mental and physical challenges. My disgust and sorrow, which were quite intense and real, melted into a profound and deep joy. How did I find this space? When I reflect, I realized the space and time found me.
Jesus is nurturing me. Jesus is comforting me. Nothing else matters. This must be the beginning of the birthing process, the thrill of hope, the wariness transfiguring into joy. Ah yes, this sounds a little melancholy, but faith is a gift that requires a cast of my nets into the deep waters.
Joy is so close.
Love is now.
Peace, yes peace, yes peace is a possibility and a promise.
.
May 30, 2006
This past week I have been on the cusp of experiencing PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and yet I am quite aware of what is happening. (At a conference for war veteran ministers I discover Post Traumatic Spiritual Disorder as a better explanation.) There is something very different about the way I am approaching this.
Jesus Flows through meI am healed by allowing Jesus to flow through me like a river of water and blood from His side while he was impaled on a cross. There is nothing to fear and nothing to be anxious about. God is healing me, cleansing me, challenging me and calling me to abundant life!!! Love!!!
.
June 10, 2006 Morning Praise!
Simplicity of a day a lazy Saturday morning Jesus and Me Being and rejoicing in Me Made in the image and love of God You O Beloved Have entrusted me with something most precious Most powerful and yet most weak You o Beloved Have entrusted me with yourself Love Joy and Peace Thank You! I am filled with gratitude And now I attempt to return this Gift back to You with increase but mostly…with Love! I proclaim and claim all the words of Psalm 117: .
Praise the Lord, all you nations! Acclaim him all you peoples! .
Strong is His love for us He is faithful forever!
Love, joy, peace,
Father Ron Moses +
