~ by Father Ron Camarda

4 October 2004……………A Talk with God

You knew, O Beloved Lord, better than I what was to unfold yesterday. You had me in your arms as I wrestled, whimpered, cried and sadly…complained.

Transportation was a mess as I attempted to provide Catholic services to the camps outside Camp Fallujah. I am sorry, Lord; I may have been irritated and slightly ugly. But all along you had me in your love, even though you may have been disappointed with me. My homily was about faith, and I exhibited little faith, if any. And that is the problem. It wasn’t my homily; it was yours: your stories, your parables, your suffering and your death. I did nothing for I am a servant, unprofitable at that, of your Word, your Love, your hopes, your dreams, and your commands.

Yesterday was for me. My inconveniences and frustrations were all gifts. I see this now; the purpose was to bring me and draw me closer to your heart.

Forgive me, Lord, for doubting. Forgive me for my harsh words and my insane stubbornness. I knew it was a graced moment when Captain Brian Heatherman invited me to the infamous Abu Ghraib prison. It was you, more than me, who desired and wanted your Body to be sacrificed there. I didn’t trust you. I feel so goofy, almost ashamed. And yet I know within my soul and heart, that you desire not that I be ashamed or embarrassed. I will profit immensely if I simply follow you and fill my being with you – Love itself.

O Beloved, you are mightier than the storms of hatred and insanity. It is You, and You alone, who will bring peace and stability to this region of the world. It is You who is already at work in every darkened heart, fulfilling Your promise given here almost 4,000 years ago.

Awesome! Lord Jesus, my spirit, life, and breath; I beg of You to show me Your plan so I can better follow You into Eternity.

What a story last night. You placed me in the center of those men, Baptists and Protestants, to lead them in the Word of God. I felt their mistrust, but I knew You placed me there. About 25 men gathered for the non-denominational prayer service. Chaplain Ron Kennedy was very sick, and You urged me to be uncomfortable and cover for him. When I proclaimed Your Word, the authority was there. I felt it. When You spoke to them through me, I was in awe. I’m not sure You wanted me to lay hands on them, though, because some of them got up and scattered at that! Suspicious I presume of the Anti-Christ and us ‘Catholics.’

What must You have endured when Your very own people got up and abandoned You as you gave them Your body, Your blood, and Your heart? Come to think of it, I still do this. You say to me, “And you, Ron Moses, are you going to leave me, too?” I fumble with words, “O not me, for You Jesus have the words of Eternal Life.” And yet, You know me so well. I will choose death over and over until I surrender not just my will, but my very life and breath.

O Jesus, what have You done? There are so many holier priests than me. How could you pick me when these men and women will be experiencing life-changing amputations, wounds or even dying?

I want to trust You totally, Jesus. Increase my faith! Increase my love!

And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

John 14:13

You ask, “What do you want Me to do for you?”

I say, “Increase my love for You and my neighbor and enemy.

Increase my love. Increase my love.”

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. God suffered,

died and has been raised from the dead. And we will all Rise Again!”

Teach me patience, Lord, Beloved, Holy One.

Teach me wisdom…

Teach me Love.

I love you,

Ron Moses +

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

☼

Dusty back corner of the clinic

Yet life giving

I first notice the shadows on the barriers

A mimosa type tree and palm bush

Leading my eyes to the real

Two birds, rather pretty

Black crown, white face alight turn,

Flies annoying, full of life, closing in on my eyes

Blue sky wrestling with rising dust; brownish blue of sunlight

Pretty, delicate wind

Colors of browns showing signs of distinction

Life in a war zone

Rockets in, rockets out

Life goes on

Prayers amidst the rubble

Allah, God, Yahweh

Be praised —-

Who shall win?

Lover of enemies

Lovers of enemies

Blast us with Your love

Blast us with Your healing

Pretty flowers

Pretty trees

Pretty neat

Pretty cool.

.

Bless the Lord, sing songs of Creation

Instruments of peace and love!

Father Ron Camarda is a retired Naval Chaplain and author of “Tear in the Desert,” a powerful book containing his memoirs of life and death at the Battle for Fallujah. Father Ron appears on EWTN and recently won the Silver Medal from the Military Writers Society of America.