May 4, 2016: Getting my worship on

~by Louis Templeman


I found a 3 ½ year old journal entry of mine. I keep a journal only sporadically. I regret to say that I have not developed the daily discipline. Nevertheless, I have a number of experiences that I have recorded memoir style which I usually try to develop as a story or as a devotion with a take-away.

The gist of the day’s journal was a bit of grumbling. Here is the entry.

When I go to my charismatic/liturgical service I go to worship. I do not go to work. I want to hide – hide in Christ, as least that is what I tell myself. I enjoy singing in tongues and lifting my hands like the others. I will prophesy at times. As long as it fits in with the flow and I can manage to feel invisible I can cope.

Tonight I was coerced into running the overhead projector so the worshipers could see the lyrics as they sang. I decided to be a good boy but it made me grumpy. I made a point of showing any who would look at me just what a huge sacrifice this was. I did not have my worship on. I looked more like Oscar the Grouch.

I decided to do a good job even though I knew it would lessen my personal worship experience. I tried to think instead of how I was helping others to have a better experience. I worked up a self-righteousness that fit nicely with my sour disposition.

Once the singing began I had a rough start. I fumbled with the computer keyboard and did not get smooth until the end of the second song. Inside I was feeling nothing, just as I expected, but I sang loud just to prime the soul’s pump. It helped. For a few moments I joined in the melody and noise of the worship. Then there fell a pause on the crowd. Usually, at a time like this it is often appropriate for one to give a message in tongues with interpretation or a prophesy.

I decided to prophesy. I said: “Desiring a home is not just a human or earthy feeling. Desiring home is an eternal, heavenly desire. I stand outside your door and knock. Let me in. Enthrone me in your heart. Let me come home.” The message, of course, is as ancient as the Garden of Eden where God would walk in the garden in the cool of the day looking for some company with his children.

I felt the comfort knowing that even in my reluctant state of mind God was searching for me. I came to church searching for him and when given the chore of working the Power Point to display the lyrics I grumbled inside myself thinking this distraction would cause me to miss fellowship with the LORD.

Instead, I discovered that even if I miss him he is still looking for me.

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Louis writes from Jacksonville, Florida where he lives with his old friend and wonderful bride, Joy. They transformed their friendship into the sacrament of marriage on August 30, 2012. They share their home with two self-absorbed, playful, twin cats (Flo and Jet) and one very allusive and arrogant cat named D. Louis has recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and is fighting the good fight. Much of what he writes these days he is sharing his journey with us. Please keep Louis and his wife Joy in your prayers.

CLICK HERE to visit Louis’ Catholic Journeyman Archive

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